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CFD 404 [REPLAY 239] – 8 THINGS TO GIVE UP – Criticizing Others Says More About You Than You Think… and It’s Gotta Stop!

We are into another new year now and I hope you’re off to a great start. That’s why I’m doing this 8 THINGS TO GIVE UP series in my Cash Flow Diary podcast. So far I’ve covered three of the things you need to toss out the window. Go back and listen to those episodes if you haven’t already.

Today I share with you why you don’t want to put your time into criticizing others. Criticism just leaves you looking (and feeling) harsh, vindictive and cruel. Criticizing others may make you feel superior to others, but in reality that’s not the truth. How in the heck does that serve you, especially as a real estate investor? It doesn’t.

Real estate investing (and most other businesses) require you to build relationships. How are you going to do that if you are hyper-critical?

Let’s take the example of a property. You’re walking the property and you are there to assess it so you can make an offer and figure out how you can help the seller. If you walk around with a superior attitude, tearing the property apart with your words, I promise you’ll have a real hard time getting that seller to want to work with you.

You are setting up an adversarial relationship and it’s going to leave the seller feeling bruised and upset. You may as well pick up a heavy stick and follow the seller around while poking them with it. That’s how your criticisms feel to the other party. It is horrible and unnecessary.

When someone is receiving criticism, it puts them in a defensive position. That sets up sour ground for negotiations. The seller will push back with their own criticisms. Both of you will walk away feeling bad about each other and the property.

Have you ever heard that old saying that you catch more bees with honey? It’s true. You don’t have to embellish; you simply have to learn to communicate in a more positive way. You can say absolutely anything if you frame it correctly. If you form an actual connection with the other person, put yourself in their shoes, learn a little about their situations and challenges, and you stop putting yourself first your negotiations will go better. Your business will do better. Your income will improve.

As a real estate investor you are supposed to be solving problems for other people. You are alleviating pain. You don’t have to say every little thing that’s running through your brain. The seller knows the problems with the property. They want you to make an offer. They want to sell the property.

Here’s the bottom line: No one and nothing is perfect… not even you. So, if you are prone to being critical, you need to learn how to communicate better. A book that helped me is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

And in researching the topic for this episode I found some really cool articles. There were several. Here’s just one: How To Stop Being Critical Of Others. It’s written by an NLP trainer and it’s pretty interesting. Read it. If you recognize any of the points in your own behavior it’s time to fix it… right now.

You might want to listen to this episode a few times, especially the end, because I give you the way to word the negatives in your negotiations. There is a way to say everything. Learn more. LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE NOW.