Believe me… when it comes to not getting involved in real estate investing I’ve heard ’em all.
BTW, none of them are really acceptable.
When people tell me how they’d LIKE TO get into real estate investing, I get excited. Maybe I can help them. Maybe I can teach them something that will change their lives. Maybe they’ll be like me and wish they’d learned how to do deals and raise private capital WAY earlier in life.
But not everyone is as open to learning as others.[tweet “You can’t look good and learn something new at the same time!”]
Some people have lots of “reasons” why they “just can’t” get involved in real estate investing “right now.” I have those words in quotes because the people who give “reasons” may never take the steps necessary to make changes in their lives. They just don’t want to say, “I don’t want to devote the time it will take and I’m looking for a magic bullet that will make everything better in my life.”
For these people I typically take my gentlest Carefrontation™ approach and call them on their excuses. To onlookers this may come across as brash or a little brutal, but it’s not. People give “reasons” because the people around them have accepted their excuses for so long that the individual’s beliefs may never get challenged.
Here’s an example of my Carefrontation approach that happened in a live event. If you want to skip straight to my presentation, scroll to time code 45:01. That’s almost midway through where I’m introduced to the crowd.
Here’s the point…
My approach is effective most days and gets people to think about their desires and responses a little more closely. They need to understand that their reasons are really excuses, and if they aren’t willing to dump the excuses they won’t get to their goals.[tweet “Using my Carefrontation™ approach pushes other people to think.”]
Here are the top 10 “reasons” people give me regarding why they aren’t ready to pull the trigger on learning real estate investing right now…
- I work and just don’t have time. I’m simply too busy.
GREAT! So you have a 9-to-5 J.O.B. that takes up a whole bunch of your time, leaving you with none to take maybe an hour a day to learn something new? Usually that’s what they really mean. They work and when they get home from their energy-draining job they don’t want to do anything but relax, eat dinner, watch TV and go to bed… just so they can get up the next day to do the exact same thing again. For millions of Americans that is the routine. (It’s a great reason to toss your TV out the window, too.)[tweet “We tend to make time for those things we truly want to do…”]
What I want to tell those who tell me they’re too busy is, “Get real. Who isn’t?” But I don’t. The truth is that we make time for things we truly want to do. Most of my students start out learning real estate investing WHILE working a full-time job. They get it. They know that to do something different in life and to actually leave the 9-to-5 busy-bee world is gonna take some work up front.
However, the payoff is huge!
I’ve watched several people who take their training seriously quit their day jobs and all that busy work they used to fill their days with in the first handful of weeks or months of learning how to wholesale, raise capital for their deals, network, play Cashflow games with strangers and then get their first rental properties. (It’s awesome to watch!)[tweet “Playing Cashflow 101 pay off big time!”]
Here’s a case study on one of them. Her name is Hayya and she moved so quickly WHILE she was in training that it amazed even me. She was out there making offers in her first couple of weeks… during training. (If I could add an applause button here I would.)
Give her story a read. It might just motivate you…
- I’m in the middle of a loan modification, refinance or other paperwork-heavy personal ordeal and it takes all my time.
All your time? Really? For these people I tend to follow up with questions about how they got into the situation and how it feels. I ask them about options they may have and how they arrived at their decisions. I ask them to tell me about their ideal life and how they intend to get there when they allow the major bumps in life shut them down. I try to be helpful in my guidance.
Hey, I’m not heartless. I know these battles are emotional. But that’s what I need the person to see. The truth is that you can’t get emotional about real estate… not even your own home. And, sure, paperwork is challenging sometimes, but most times we make it out to be far heavier a task than it actually is. For example, have you ever put off and put off and put off a task because it involved paperwork and that’s just not your cup of tea? You put off till the last minute and then you’re surprised by just how quickly you get through it. Ever happen to you?[tweet “Procrastinating is a bad habit. You have the power to change your ways.”]
My point here is that even if you are involved in something troublesome or emotional in life it’s not an excuse not to learn something new that can get you away from being in the position of lacking or having to simply accept someone else’s terms (like a bank’s) ever again. The devotion of time is up to you. Maybe you spend an hour a night on your training so you can be the biggest, baddest, best real estate investor ever. Maybe you step it up to two hours a night.
The consistency pays off. Pretty soon, you’re through one course and on to the next. You’re trying strategies out. You’re playing Cashflow games and talking real estate with likeminded people. You’re doing deals, earning more and more income from your efforts, you’re out of the rat race, off the hamster wheel and into the life you truly desire. (Hey, it happened to me.)[tweet “Consistency in study habits gets you further to your goal!”]
- I’m scared.
Okay… this is one I can respect. It’s honest… and it’s something I can help you through. Fear is absolutely natural. Especially when it comes to learning something new. I devote a lot of time talking about this in front of audiences of all sizes online and in the real world.
I’ve also produced a few episodes of my Cash Flow Diary podcast to the topic. So instead of giving you ways here to move beyond your fear to take action anyway, I’ll direct you to episode 81 about how to deal with your fears.
- I have kids. There’s just too much chaos in my life right now to take on something new.
Um, really? What a coincidence. I have kids, too. What ages are yours? And why does having kids stop you from learning something new? Wouldn’t it be a glorious thing to show your children that you as a parent can keep learning new things, especially with all that chaos?
Then I typically hear… “Well, I’m really busy with my kids. I have to get them to [NAME ANY SPORT HERE] practice. Then I have to take one of them to Ballet. Then I have to get them home and help them with homework. I have to get dinner ready, too. You have no idea…”
Yes, I actually do. I have a number of children of various ages, from Kindergarten to college. So, yeah, I get the busy part. I get the taking them places part. I get the chaos part. I get the feeding them part. In fact, having the ability to feed my kids was one of the reasons I pushed myself to do what I needed to do to learn how to be a real estate investor in the first place!
I won’t go into it here, but you can find my story on the About Page on the website. You can also read an in-depth account of how I entered real estate investing in my book…
- My spouse/loved one doesn’t support the idea.
This is a tough one only because my take on things can really open a can of worms. Why on earth would a spouse or loved one be unsupportive of your learning something new that won’t change JUST your life but theirs?
The answer is based in psychology. People get comfy in their routines, even in their dysfunctional routines that leave them broke before the end of the month. Their pain obviously isn’t big enough to let them see the light or that, well, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. They have the power to change what they don’t like in their lives. They just aren’t giving themselves permission. The spouse or loved one not being supportive is only an excuse to delay growth in one’s life.
I talk about this in depth in episode 9 of my podcast. It’s about overcoming discouragement to reach success. If you lack support or feel discouraged about doing what it takes to fulfill your desire to do real estate investing, give it a listen. It might just change things for you…
Sometimes when a spouse or loved one is openly unsupportive (and very verbal about it) they are mirroring what they believe about themselves. They are reflecting onto you their insecurities. They may feel like they can’t do real estate, so why are you trying? They feel like you’re cutting their safety net when in reality you’re not starting out by quitting your day job; on the contrary… you are just adding a bit of time every night to learn how to leave your day job feasibly down the road and after you’ve outpaced your expenses with the cashflow you earn.
Know what that’s called? A better life for all involved.
If your spouse or loved one can’t help you find one or two hours in a corner of your house so you can take your studies seriously, it could indicate a lot larger problem in your relationship. You could always ask your spouse or loved one to join you in your new learning adventures. I know a number of very successful husband-and-wife teams as well as families that do real estate investing together. It’s pretty cool to see!
I’ve interviewed some very successful couples who do real estate investing together. Here’s one episode you might want to tune into that proves my point exquisitely!
- I’m depressed and feel frozen.
This is another tough one. First, depression is a real condition. Those who are clinically depressed face challenges simply getting out of bed. However, many people are situationally depressed, which means there’s hope that they can effect change in their lives.
Fortunately, there are avenues open to those who are depressed so they can get the help they need. I have no words of wisdom on this one. I do, however, know that by forcing oneself to do something new… even if it’s taking a course from the comfort and safety of one’s own home… the feelings of depression and anxiety can lift over time. When we hang out with people who can get our minds off of our problems, we also feel better.
So here’s an idea.
Feeling depressed or frozen? Want to move forward but are feeling stuck? Why don’t you hang out with me… online… on YouTube? There are hours and hours of videos waiting for you that offer inspiration, motivation, education and some very basic training. Spend some time with me there and see if you don’t start feeling a little more uplifted.
Hey, just give it try…
Right about now I should throw in a disclaimer…
I’m not a psychologist; I don’t work in the field of psychology. While I’ve certainly battled my own anxieties, especially when first starting out in real estate investing, all I can say is that I got through it.
I pushed through my fears; I pushed through my anxieties. I prayed and asked for strength to get me through my challenges… and I had plenty of challenges early on. I literally shed tears from time to time, and I asked for help. The outcome was good. Really good. Or I wouldn’t be here talking to you today.[tweet “There’s lots of evidence that we can move beyond our negative emotions to achieve great things.”]
Guess what? The proof that we can move through our feelings, our anxieties, our depressions, our fears or our… whatever… to be successful in real estate investing is all around us.
Take a walk down any city street in any town; take a walk in a suburb; take a walk in a mall or to a business center. You think the people who own those buildings, business and dwellings haven’t experienced some pretty hefty emotions?
We are all human; we all have internal struggles; we can move through them to do something new in life if we push ourselves and get the right help. (If that includes counseling, so be it. Life’s too short to live in fear and depression, and to let those emotions stop us from doing what we want.)
Because I want to inspire you if you are even remotely down or having a less than stellar day or time in your life, I created a series of YouTube videos that show you how to stay motivated even on the darkest days. Start with this one…
- I’m okay like I am; I’m comfortable in my current life.
Well, I can’t debate that one, because it’s pretty clear to me that people who say this really ARE comfortable where they’re at right now. But I can also tell you that it’s a safe bet that they’ll be in that very same place a year from now, 10 years from now, maybe forever.
Truth is that it takes work to make change happen in your life. It’s not ever going to be a magical transformation. To be a real estate investor who earns thousands of dollars every month means you’ll have to take the right training. You need to realize the person you are today is not who you need to be to do well as a real estate investor YET. But that’s okay.
You’ll just have to participate in activities that create personal growth and development that allows you to get to your goals.
If this interests you, watch my YouTube series on personal growth and development. Start with this one…
To be your most successful, you’ll have to put what you learn to use (the sooner the better). You can’t be resistant to change. Heck, the one constant in life is change… so why not try something new? (Unless you don’t want to cuz you’re happy sitting in your Lazy Boy recliner watching the latest popular TV series and that’s way more important to you than earning more income, creating a better life for you and your family, or leaving something more behind than a bunch of bills and a list of your favorite television programs.)
I know. Harsh. But the truth hurts.
- People tell me I’m crazy for trying. They make fun of me.
Yeah, people will do that, because they want you to stay in the bottom of the crab bucket with them. If you don’t know what I mean by that, it’s simple. If you gather a bunch of crabs and drop them into a big bucket, filling that bucket to the top, some crabs will try to get out. But guess what happens? The crabs at the bottom reach up and pull the top crabs back inside!
The question becomes… who are the crabs in your life and why do you hang out with people who tell you that you’re crazy for trying to get out of the bucket?
Here’s another question… why do you care if people make fun of you for learning real estate investing?
You think I didn’t have a bunch of people in my life who were let’s just say negative about my plans to become a real estate investor? I did. But I didn’t listen. I didn’t let their words stop me from getting to my goals. I could have, I suppose, but then what? Where would I be today?
If you need some inspiration, you’re in luck. Take a look at this…
- I tried it before and it didn’t work out.
This one always makes me chuckle. I hear this one sometimes after I’ve asked someone if he’s ever considered getting involved in real estate investing. When the response is, “I’ve done it before. I tried it and it didn’t work out,” I get to dig deeper. Actually, all I say is, “Really? Why?” Then let the person talk.
By the end of the conversation, it’s pretty common that the guy or gal who answered like that has given it a bit more thought. I lead them through the conversation in a way that makes them think. In fact, I often end up meeting with these very same people again to talk about how they can get involved in investing in my deals.
You know… real estate investing is not like making instant potatoes. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t just add water and stir to get something good. You have to put some effort into it and you have to develop relationships.
Wealth is a TEAM sport. No one gets to their goals strictly on their own. When we work with others in our deals, it’s a win-win. Later when someone asks us if we’ve ever considered getting involved in real estate investing, we’re gonna say, “Heck, yeah! In fact, I do it now and am really successful!”
I’m so passionate about this topic that I’ve produced a number of podcast episodes on it. I’ve also created a series of YouTube videos that go along with this mindset. Maybe you’ve seen them? Here’s one…
- I’m an introvert; I can’t talk to strangers.
I saved this one for last because I AM an introvert. People have a hard time believing it, but anyone who is really close to me will attest that it’s true. I can also tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that being an introvert will not hold you back as a real estate investor.
You may have to push yourself a bit harder as an introvert to speak to strangers, for example, at real estate networking events. But that’s okay. You can do it. The right questions will come naturally to you once you understand what you are talking about. That takes the right training… and knowing the right words to use.
I was painfully shy when I first started in real estate investing. PAINFULLY. It took everything I had to get myself out of the car to attend real estate networking events. But I did it.
I may have had to drive around the block a few times before entering the parking lot, but I did it. I may have stopped and cried before my first attempts at approaching people on the street about wholesaling their properties, too. But, guess what? I DID IT.
I developed a system that helped me move beyond myself, my shyness, my insecurities and my emotions to do just fine as a real estate investor.
Part of that system involved joining Toastmasters, a fabulous group that helped me get over my fears of public speaking. I can’t recommend that group highly enough. But that’s just one thing you can do if you’re an introvert to push yourself out of your comfort zone.