Author, speaker, business and money coach Joan Sotkin said she was a mess before she realized how her emotions were holding her back from becoming a millionaire. She says that once we are aware of how we actually feel about money and success we can achieve our goals. For example, we have to look at our upbringing and the habits we developed in early childhood. How did our parents think and talk about money and wealth? Were there negative experiences we embrace that could be holding us back? It’s not who we are; rather it’s how we behave that creates the lives we have now. While some personality traits cannot be changed, and we wouldn’t want to, we can create a new identity. Joan says she was the girl who was always being rescued, so that became her identity. She wasn’t well emotionally and physically, and that sense of unhealthiness became a part of her identity. When she had the epiphany that these identity traits were holding her back from the wealth and happiness she craved Joan flipped the switch to move toward creating her new identity. She talks about how she had to get through what she calls the “moving stupids,” which she explains happens to us when we are in the process of creating our new identities. Hers came in the form of being one of the first new-age originators with Joan’s Stones that were in 600 stores. This business brought her $30K in income every month, yet she went bankrupt because she hadn’t yet learned the habits of a wealthy person, like managing her cashflow and saying no. She had to develop new habits. The good news is that she did and grew her wealth again by helping others prepare for and create the lives they want. The creator of Prosperity Place, Joan Sotkin teaches us how to remove our heavy, old, tired emotional baggage to allow true prosperity to enter our lives. She says that while we have no money is actually the best time to train our brains to prepare to handle the wealth, and then we won’t just create it, but we will actually be able to manage our money well. Everything starts with our feelings. We have to start shifting away from our past habits and break the negative feelings we may have about money. Listen Now
On this episode of Cash Flow Diary, J interviews Joan Sotkin, who is an author, coach, and assists business people to understand money and how to alter their financial behaviors. You may think money is about how much you make, how much you keep, and tax strategies, but it’s actually about your financial behavior. If you want to improve your relationship with money, write more offers, and build a bigger business then this is a fantastic podcast for you.
03:50 Joan’s origin story
07:01 Awareness and choices
12:22 ‘Moving stupids’
17:57 Prepare yourself for making money
20:15 Two ways to prepare
21:57 Feeling vocabulary
25:22 Apply for a free one-on-one breakthrough session / J’s episode insight
26:44 Meditate daily
35:04 What is slowing your progress?
37:33 J’s embezzlement case study
40:04 Recognize, release, & replace
46:27 Facing fear
51:32 Contact Joan
Main Questions Asked:
- What is your origin story?
- Why does one person get to be a millionaire and another person doesn’t?
- Can we blame our money habits on our parents?
- What do you mean when you say we either aren’t aware or making real choices?
- How does one get to the point where we learn to separate the two concepts of ‘who we are’ and ‘how we behave?’
- What can someone do to prepare to be in a position for when they come into money?
- Is there a routine or check and balances?
- How do we keep ourselves in the right position and mindset to be able to achieve more than we achieve today without sabotaging ourselves?
- How do people deal with things that are slowing down their progress?
Key Lessons Learned:
- We must learn to change our mindsets, habits, and behaviors around how and why we use our finances.
- Our emotions are the creative force behind our life stories.
- The emotions we start in early childhood are the ones we are acting out later in life through our life stories and especially through our money.
- Money is the greatest thing to use for personal growth and development, especially if you want to get in touch with your emotional self (even if you don’t have an emotional vocabulary).
- Our habits aren’t who we are; they are just how we behave.
- There is no force greater than the human desire to stick with whatever identity we believe we have.
- We all have certain traits that are inborn and genetic.
- When you begin to change your identity, you get ‘moving stupids,’ and go back to a familiar place.
- Change is disorienting, and can last a couple of months.
- Even when you make a lot of money, if you don’t know how to manage your cash flow, it is not going to work out in the long term.
- One of the habits of a wealthy person is saying ‘no’.
- When you start making more money, it is often uncomfortable.
- Learn how to count and manage your money (earnings and expenses).
- If you are not willing to have financial awareness, then you are not willing to be rich.
- Not having a lot of money is the perfect time to learn how to manage money.
- As soon as you get into surplus every dollar is a decision.
- If you have a ‘longing’ or ‘dissatisfaction’ habit, no matter how much money you earn, you won’t be able to satisfy that habit.
- Money is just a symbol of relationships.
- Meditate daily. For 10 minutes a day, take your focus from the outer world to the inner world.
- Become familiar with your inner self that houses your intuition.
- Donald Trump suggested that even in the good times you should spend like it’s the bad times.
- One of the biggest feelings behind carrying a lot of debt is the feeling of aloneness (I owe you money and you are not going to forget about me).
- Emotions aren’t negative; they are just emotions.
Two ways to prepare for wealth:
- 1) Actual financial skills
- When you don’t have the money, start looking at what you are going to do when you do have the money, e.g how much money will you have in a savings account or cushion account before you start investing?
- The idea is to create something so you are not in financial fear.
- 2) Look at your money feelings
- What do you feel when you look at your bank balance today?
- Make sure you have dealt with the issues you have been acting out on through your money. This takes awareness and a conscious desire to shift your habits from the past.
Ways to figure out your money feelings:
- Look at your bank balance or bills, then close your eyes. Become aware of the kinesthetic experience in your physical body of what you’re experiencing when you think about your money.
- Notice whether you feel contracted or expanded, flutter in the heart, fear?
- Excess adrenal rushes get people sick in the long run.
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Links to Resources Mentioned
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