Recently I read an interesting article about how being a people-pleaser is actually a selfish act. Then I found a quote by motivational speaker and life manifestation coach Christine Hassler that lays it down straight. She says, “People pleasing is a terrible investment, because it depletes your most valuable resources: your time and energy. Just think about how much energy you waste by obsessing about what other people think of you or trying to strategize your actions to appease others”
I couldn’t have put it better myself!
People pleasing isn’t something that works well for real estate investors. That’s because you’re going to have to say NO sometimes. For instance, you’re going to have to say no to some investors. Just because someone has money doesn’t make him/her the right person to invest in your deal. You’re also going to have to learn to say no to deals, to potential partners, to buyers and to sellers.
Everything has to be in alignment with your Investor Identity. That’s the secret sauce!
As you move forward and do more deals, you’re likely going to become a go-to person. Lots of people are going to want to work with you. You’re going to see all sorts of deals… and they won’t all be right for you. You’ll learn to say no. You’ll learn that you can’t please everyone.
What did Abraham Lincoln say? You can’t please everyone all the time? Hey, he’s right! And this is what I talk about in today’s episode of my Cash Flow Diary podcast. It’s the final installment of my 8 Things to Give Up series and you’re going to want to give it a listen.
By the end of it you’ll understand why if you are a people-pleaser that you have to stop. It’s bad for your health. Studies show that the behavior actually causes higher levels of stress and debilitates the immune system. So why participate in such a negative behavior?
Anyone who has ever seen me give a presentation knows I am definitely not a people-pleaser. In fact, I go the opposite way. I practice what I call Carefrontation™ which is a nice way of saying I tell people things they sometimes don’t want to hear. I tell them the truth. I ask questions that lead them to get to the truth themselves. It’s the only way I know to keep people on the right path in investing… to keep them focused on their Investor Identity so they can be their most successful.
Hey, just because you say no doesn’t make you a “bad” person. It’s better that you learn when and how to say no. You aren’t in business to be liked by everyone you meet. Sure, it would be great if you were the hero all the time and well-loved by all, but that’s not life. So stop wasting time and energy thinking about it, worrying about it or trying to get to that goal. I guarantee you that there are lots of other better goals.
I have a lot to say on this topic, so grab your ear buds, and say no to outside distractions. LISTEN NOW.